15 Years of Loving A Cute Spaniard
by Marukaite Chikyuu Doitsu
Summary: Loosely based off of Miku's "15 Years Of Pursuing A Cute Boy". Kagome has had a major crush on the Spanish boy Antonio for so long! Join Kagome through the years as she befriends Antonio and slowly tries to win his heart through trial and error, thick and thin- secret admirer style, under the name "Kikyo". Drabbles, SpaKag, possible future onesided InuKag
1. Year 1

**MCD: I just had to make a Spain/Kags after finding out that there are none already. This is going to be a drabble series of sorts. Enjoy!**

**15 Years of Pursuing a Cute Boy**

_**Year 1, age 3 (Preschool):**_

Kagome watched from behind a cubby as two older boys teased another boy the same age who was reading a letter out loud. The Spanish boy struggled a little to keep the letter away from his friends, but he managed to move a few feet away.

"Dear Antonio, I really like you. I think you're a really nice person and I want to be your friend. Love..." Antonio squinted at the messy handwriting, trying to decipher the name of the person, but to no avail. "...Does that say Kikyo? I can't tell," he said, showing his silver-headed and blonde friend the quickly-scribbled, crossed-out name. Francis frowned and plucked the love letter from his friend's hand to try and make out the word while Gilbert just laughed.

"Aww~! Toni's got himself a secret admirer~!" the so-called "Prussian" cooed at his friend, who blushed vehemently.

"Nu-uh! Kikyo said she wants to be my _friend! _That means it's a... a..." The 4-year-old boy scratched his head and stared at the ground for a moment. Suddenly he grinned up at the two of them. "It's a _like _letter, silly!"

Francis giggled and handed the letter back to Antonio, "Ohonhonhon! Well, like or _l'amour_, I don't know any "Kikyo"s in Hetalia Elementary, so she- or he- _is _a secret admirer!"

A 3-year-old Kagome sighed blissfully from behind her cubby and snuck back into the classroom. Now she didn't regret sticking the letter in Antonio's cubby, especially since she scribbled her name out at the last second. She'd be a secret admirer, she thought with excitement, already working on the next letter in red crayon.


	2. Year 2

_**Year 2, age 4 (Preschool):**_

Kagome sighed and pushed over the block tower that she had been working on. It just wasn't the same without Antonio in the same school as her anymore. No, he had moved on to the big-kid school called "Kindergarten". That big bully Gilbert said that the word Kindergarten was Prussian, but Kagome didn't believe him because he was a stupid meanie. She would've believed it if Antonio said it, though...

Luckily, she was still able to give him letters, though. Under the fake name "Kikyo", she had her old brother Kiku slip the letters into Antonio's cubby every week or so for the past few months. It was kind of hard, since Kiku was a year older than Antonio and his friends, therefore in a different hallway than theirs, but he somehow managed to do it anyway. Kagome couldn't thank him enough.

Antonio and his friends still hadn't figured out who "Kikyo" was.


	3. Year 3

_****_MCD: Two chapters today because I haven't updated this everyday like I wanted to.

_**Year 3, age 5 (Kindergarten):**_

Kagome sighed dreamily whilst making her own paper-cutout snowflake. She was finally in the same school as Antonio once again! Of course, he was in a different hallway than her, but Kiku had told her how to go about putting the letters in his cubby without getting noticed or being late to Kindergarten class.

She had accidentally shown some of her letters to the teacher, Mr. Rome, when she was handing in one of her assignments, but he was really excited about them for some reason. Something about the wonders of young love? Anyway, he had shown them to some of the other teachers (anonymously and under secret oath, of course. No way was she going to let him tell anyone who the real Kikyo was!) and they were a hit! The teachers didn't tell Antonio or anyone else though, thankfully, but Mr. Rome kept asking her to stand up and read her poems to everyone in class for story-time because they were so great. Kagome beamed and smiled through each and every one.


	4. Year 4

MCD: Updating... because I can :P

_**Year 4, age 6 (First Grade):**_

She was in first grade! Yay! Finally, she was a big kid! Well, her momma said that big girls were 7 years old, but she was turning seven soon anyway, so it didn't matter!

And to make things even better, Antonio was her bestest friend ever now! Yeah, she did talk to some of the other girls in her class, but they were all weird and kept swapping crushes on boys. Pfft. As if they even knew what a real crush was.

Anyways, she had one day talked to Antonio in the hallway after bumping into him (luckily she had just put her letter into his cubby before he saw her do it!). Kagome helped pick Antonio's stuff up, and when she saw the letter, she asked him what it was before he could suspect her for it. Brilliant plan right? But Antonio's face got really red and he grabbed everything up and ran off.

The next day, Antonio approached Kagome and apologized for being so rude. He explained that the letter was a love letter from his secret admirer, one of the many over the years (as if she didn't know that!). When Kagome didn't make fun of him for it, he beamed and asked her if she could help him figure it out, to which she heartily agreed. Of course, she didn't think of what might happen when he found out she was the admirer, but all she could think of at that moment was Antonio's really pretty greenish-sorta-hazel eyes. It had all gone uphill from then. Antonio let her swing on the swings on the playground even when he had been on them first, he shared his animal crackers with her at their joined lunch times, and he even defended her from Gilbert's and Francis' teasing!

Her heart fluttered. Antonio was the best~


	5. Year 5

MCD: Mrs. Hassan = Ancient Egypt /Gupta Hassan = Egypt.

_**Year 5, age 7 (Second Grade):**_

Kagome beamed under Mrs. Hassan's praise.

"Very good, Kagome! I absolutely love your poems! What's this one about, exactly?" the teacher asked her excitedly, her Egyptian accent showing through. Kagome blushed and looked to the floor.

"It's another love poem, Mrs. Hassan. This one's about loving a person forever, no matter how long or how hard it is, or who they are or what they do." Kagome scuffed the tip of her sneaker into the tile floor bashfully. It was super embarrassing to have Mrs. Hassan ask her about her poems only today because Antonio's literature class was working with hers today. If he knew that her poem was about him, he would surely whine about the cooties and not like her anymore (although that didn't make sense, because _everyone_ knows that only boys have cooties). Mrs. Hassan giggled.

"That's wonderful, Kagome! I'm sure Gupta thinks so as well, right?" She cooed and Kagome smiled awkwardly as Gupta glared at his mother, his face flushed red. It was a well known fact that Mrs. Hassan only wanted to best for her son, and with Kagome's superb literature skills, she was the Literature teacher's first target, and had been for a while now. However, Gupta and Kagome remained friends, despite teasing and Mrs. Hassan's frequent, unsubtle hints.

Kagome quickly read her poem and then returned to her seat with a red face while her other classmates applauded her.

Settling into her seat, she spared a glance at Antonio, who was placed next to her in the spare seat while they shared the classroom. She was a little bit surprised at the funny look on his face. Blinking, she waved a hand in front of his eyes, making him jump a little.

"Antonio, what's wrong? You seem really serious about something," she commented quietly, trying not to disturb another student's poem-reading. Antonio, instead of smiling and laughing it off, stared at her a little with a solemn expression.

"Kagome, do you love Gupta?" he asked quietly, frowning, and Kagome flushed red.

"W-what? No!" she hissed, gulping when Mrs. Hassan looked in her direction. When the teacher looked back at another student, Kagome stayed quiet, but shook her head "no" at Antonio. He beamed once more and returned his attention back to the front of the class, as if there hadn't ever been a problem at all.


	6. Year 6

_**Year 6, Age 8 (Third Grade):**_

That was the year that Kagome didn't write many letters as Kikyo. For once, there was not a solid flow of letters coming into Antonio's new locker.

That was the year that Kagome nearly died.

No one had seen it coming, but she was hit with almost every type of illness out there; she stayed alive, but was too weak most days to do anything but lie in bed and eat. Some days, she couldn't even eat; she would just throw it up anyway.

Her grandfather, mother, Kiku and Souta showed lots of support, but looking back, Kagome knew she would have recovered faster if Antonio was allowed to visit. Sure, some days he was allowed to come, but he had to wash his hands before entering and he had to wear one of those germ masks on his mouth. But for the most part, Antonio was turned back at the front door. Her grandfather didn't want to get him sick.

Kagome felt really bad about him being turned down a visit. Especially after he had to walk all those stairs to the shrine. He would always bring a flower or two for her, but she usually wouldn't get them because grandfather was afraid they would hurt her allergies.

It was the worst year of Kagome's life.


	7. Year 7

_**Year 7, Age 9 (Fourth Grade):**_

The seventh year, Kagome was back and better than ever, after making a miraculous full recovery. Not only that, but she had also been accepted into the Fourth grade, thanks to all the help Mr. Rome, Mrs. Hassan and a few other teachers had given. She had also submitted some of her poems and mini-stories to the local newspaper (after making sure that Antonio's name wasn't in them, of course). They had been an instant hit.

She became so popular in town that every Sunday, when the paper was distributed, people would drive by her house and call out to her while she was walking down the stairs, or stop and tell her how much they enjoyed her writings when she and her mom were in the supermarket. Not only that, but Antonio- already in the Fifth grade- had told her how much he was falling in love with this Kikyo girl that always wrote to him (he knew that Kikyo was now a girl because Kagome told him that it was a feminine Japanese name). Kagome was ecstatic, and she felt that Antonio and her had become closer, too. There wasn't a thing about either of them that the other didn't know. Well, besides the fact that Kagome was Kikyo, but that's beside the point.

There was also that one time that an older boy, all the way from the high school, had visited the shrine. His name was Miroku, and he had personally requested that she make a love poem, just for a girl he liked. Sanga? Sango? Something like that. Anyway, he said he was planning on giving her a little cat named Kirara, and that he wanted a poem that he could put on a card to put on a ribbon around it's neck for when he gave it to her. Kagome had quickly written out a few and he chose the one that he'd liked the most. It was very simple, but it fit the best on the red, heart-shaped card.

"I love you, it's true,

I love you, I really do,

So please take a moment to tell me-

P.S., Kirara wants to know, too."

A few days later after school, Kagome was walking out of the front of the school with Antonio when she was suddenly snatched up. She squealed in fright, until she heard laughing from her captor.

"Sorry, Kagome-chan~!" Miroku practically sang and turned her around in his arms to face him. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief and poked his head, making him pout.

"It's all right, just don't do that again!" she giggled and hugged his head, muffling his laughter.

"Hey!" Miroku glanced down and was met with the very enraged face of Antonio. "Get your hands off her, you pervert!" Antonio yelled at Miroku, but Kagome waved him off.

"It's alright, Antonio-kun! Miroku's my friend." She grinned at him and then looked back to Miroku.

"So, how did it go? Did she accept?" She asked in an excited hush, her blue eyes wide. Miroku placed Kagome back on the ground and kneeled on one knee.

Unexpectedly, he pulled Kagome's hands up to his lips and kissed them, making Kagome erupt into a blush and Antonio squeak indignantly. Instantly, Antonio grabbed Kagome's arm and pulled her more to him, pink faintly dusting his cheeks. Slightly amused, Miroku raised a questioning eyebrow, but pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"If you really want to know, ask her." He grinned as if he were being sneaky. Looking over his shoulder, Kagome's eyes widened at the beautiful brown-haired girl leaning against Miroku's red car. She looked at Miroku and he nodded, a sparkle in his eyes. Kagome squealed and, him being the closest, she turned around and hugged Antonio, who squeaked again, this time in pleasant shock.

"It worked! It worked, Tonio! She loves him back~!" Antonio stared at her in confusion, but hugged the excited girl back, cheeks ever redder. Miroku laughed, the sound echoing joyfully.

"It's all thanks to you, Kagome-chan. Oh, and Kirara too," he added as the cat bounded out of Miroku's car window and over to him, nuzzling her head against his leg. Kagome giggled and moved away from Antonio to pet the adorable cat, making Antonio seem less than happy.

A car horn honked and the three looked over to see Sango leaning against the driver's side, her hand through the open window and on the horn. Miroku chuckled and stood up.

"Be right there, babe!" even Antonio could see the red blush that nearly exploded onto her face at the nickname. Hugging Kagome one last time, he grinned at them both and jogged off to join his girlfriend in the car.

"Bye 'Kags! Good luck, Tonio!" he called over his shoulder and hopped into the car. Antonio seemed to bristle at the nicknames, but Kagome hummed happily.

"_Tonio_? Why would he call me _Tonio _and say good luck?" Antonio muttered, scuffing his toe against the ground. Kagome giggled.

"He doesn't know your name, silly! Oh, speaking of names, what does _'Babe'_ mean, Antonio-kun?" he made an odd little squeaky noise and his face got all red again and he wouldn't say, even when Kagome kept asking him, all the way home.


	8. Year 8

_**Year 8, Age 10 (Fifth Grade):**_

The following year, she hadn't really changed much at all. She had let her hair grow a little bit longer, letting it flow down to her shoulder blades. Antonio was still her best friend. Her writings had continued their popularity for the past months. Kiku said it was only a matter of time until her poems and stories escaped into the grown-up world and she became a famous author (or "authoress", as Souta liked to say, since she was a girl). And what do you know, he was right!

It early spring of the eighth year when Kagome was approached by a boy with crazy, long, white hair and beautiful, shiny golden eyes. He wore completely red clothes, which she found a little bit odd, but it didn't bother her.

She had been cleaning the front shrine grounds with a wooden broom- that had been her chore for the day – when she suddenly noticed the bare feet of another person in her way. Blinking, she looked up from her work, only to see one of the most stunning people she'd ever met. Shiny, silvery-white hair, almost like Gilbert's, but muuuch longer! And his eyes weren't scary and red like Gilbert's – they were a pretty, sparkly gold that Kagome would later compare to the insides of a treasure chest.

"Oh, hello! How are you?" Kagome immediately jumped into friendly mode. The boy seemed startled by the sudden question and stared at her for a minute, before blushing fiercely and turning his head to the side.

"F-fine! What's it to you!" he pouted, and Kagome hummed.

"Well, if I'm going to make you my friend, then I'd like to know _something _about you first~!" she giggled at his flabbergasted look. She noticed that he was probably the same age as her, if not a year older. He looked at the ground shyly, frowning a little.

"...Inu..." he mumbled something, and Kagome titled her head to the side, casting him a questioning glance. Glancing up at her, a bit of pink worked its' way to the very tips of his ears – the only other part of his head that wasn't covered by his bushy white hair besides his face – and he stared at the ground again, as if trying to bore a hole in it.

"M-my name … is Inuyasha," he repeated himself, holding out his hand. His fingernails looked as if they had been bitten, but Kagome was not deterred. "...It's nice to meet you..."

Kagome grinned and grabbed his hand, shaking it heavily.

"Hi, Inuyasha! My name's Kagome, but my friends call me Kags. It's nice to meet you too!" she giggled. Inuyasha tensed up and his face screwed up into an adorable expression, as if shocked by her friendliness to a stranger.

"Oh, by the way, why-"

"Oh Kagome-!" both Inuyasha and Kagome turned to face Kagome's mother as she called to her. Only then did Kagome also notice the – very, _very _tall – silver-haired man standing with her mother. He had long, silvery hair like Inuyasha's, only it looked a lot cleaner and combed. And he was wearing a white suit. How odd.

"Kagome, come here please, and bring Inuyasha! This man wants to talk to you!" her mother called from across the yard. Shrugging, Kagome grabbed a blushing Inuyasha's hand and pulled him toward the two grown-ups.

A few minutes into the conversation – put into layman's terms by Inuyasha's older half-brother, Sesshoumaru – and Kagome was already bouncing up and down in her seat in excitement. Not only was this man, Sesshoumaru Taisho (head boss of the Taisho Publishing House Inc.), had read many of her poems that were suggested to him by one of his "interns" (whatever _that _meant), and was offering to publish many of her poems and stories in her very own book, but Inuyasha was also coming into her school! Turns out that he was her age and, by her request, going to be put into her classes so that he wouldn't have to deal with the dreaded "New-Student Awkwardness"! Cool! She could only imagine how Antonio would react to the news of having a new friend to hang out with!

As it turns out, Antonio didn't really like it. Gilbert was ecstatic to have another albino in the building, and Francis teased Inuyasha, but only playfully. Antonio, however, didn't seem to like him very much at all.

"I dunno why," he had told to her one day when she asked him, "I don't like him. It just feels like he's trying to steal something from me. My two best friends- we're not the "Bad Friends Trio" anymore, and my-" he faltered at that point, his voice dying out oddly. Kagome had prodded and pressed him to continue, but Antonio just turned a funny shade of red – a little bit less colorful than the tomatoes he favored so much – and shrugged, ignoring her for the most part. It hurt Kagome a little, but she figured Antonio just had to get used to Inuyasha. Like Kiku had told her once after meeting baby Souta for the first time, "It's hard to just plainly accept someone into your life, especially when you're so used to not having them around."

And, as it turns out, Antonio never did get along with Inuyasha much. One time she even found them about to break out into a fight over something that they wouldn't even tell her about, but they did have their moments. Like when she would catch them staring longingly into their lunches and talking about something in hushed tones. She could tell that they shared something in common, though, because of those secretive moments. She could understand having secrets and didn't mind too much when Inuyasha and Antonio didn't include her in their quiet conversations.

After all, she was keeping the rather large secret of Kikyo's identity.


	9. Year 9

**MCD: Warning, you might want to prepare a tissue.**

_**Year 9, Age 11 (Sixth Grade):**_

The ninth year was... was... she didn't even know. 'She' didn't even know her real name anymore.

_7 months before~*_

Kagome was minding her own business, skipping through the halls. Honestly, it had been a very good day. Antonio hadn't fought with Inuyasha, nor had they partaken in one of their hushed, secret conversations that had become the norm. Her three weird friends, Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi, had been either absent (Eri) or off with other friends during the critical gossip/get-together time, Recess (Yuka and Ayumi). At lunch, Francis and Gilbert hadn't teased her about being Antonio's girlfriend and she didn't need to stop Inuyasha from trying to beat the school bullies up... again. Ivan and Naraku, aforementioned school bullies, hadn't bothered her either. Miroku had even sent a letter to her, since he was too busy to talk to her in person, relaying the news of his and Sango's engagement. She had been ecstatic at the table that morning while she read it during breakfast.

All in all, it was the perfect day. Now, Kagome only had to sneak past a few classrooms to get to Antonio's locker. She wanted to put it in there so that he would get it before class the next day. She was right behind one locker at the end of the hallway, and was about to make a run for it so that she could make the buses afterward, but, then-

"I'm Kikyo."

Kagome stopped in her tracks, eyes wide and glued to the floor in shock. Her hands slackened in shock and she almost dropped the most recent letter, but she snapped back into the real world and gripped it tightly within her palm. Dropping would've created even the slightest sound, and she couldn't afford to have that happen. Not to mention whoever it was would see it. The second voice had her biting her lower lip, trying not to breathe too loud.

"... You expect me to believe you, _chica?_" Antonio. His tone was so harsh and wary... who could it be that he would respond to like that? A snort from the first person.

"Of course I do! You wouldn't deny my love, right? Besides, I know you've wanted to know who "Kikyo" was for a long time... and I just couldn't hold it in any longer." That smug voice... so familiar... Kagome wanted to turn and peek at whoever it was, just to see who the imposter could be, but she _couldn't _give away her positioning. Not now, at the most vital part.

"...If... If you _are _Kikyo-chan, then... why, of all days, would you choose _today _to reveal yourself to me?" Antonio again. Why did he sound so disbelieving of this person? Was it because it wasn't who he wanted it to be? Or was he just trying to protect his heart?

"Because, Antonio-chan... it's my birthday. I felt extra-specially lucky... and, I suppose you could say, this would be a present to myself." Kagome almost gagged at the conceited words that flooded the otherwise silent hallway. Each word was layered with thick lies. But... whose birthday...?

Kagome's eyes widened, her pupils dilating in shock. At that moment, the pure rage in her soul could've made her storm right over to the imposter and slap her silly... something she would've never done in her right mind.

_ERI!_

Fuming, Kagome began to slowly connect the dots in her mind. Eri was Kagome's friend. Whoever was a friend of Kagome's was a friend of the Bad Friends Trio. Eri was especially friendly with Francis because he was an easy gossiper. Francis had known about "Kikyo" from the very start. Eri had told Kagome that she wanted to go out with any one of the BFT just a little while ago. Of course, Eri would have no idea that Kagome was Kikyo. Eri had been absent from school that day because it was her birthday and she had skipped, with her mother's permission, to go to the local Chuck-E-Cheese's. _It all fit._

Kagome was also – pardon her language – _pissed _because Eri would assume that Antonio would accept her love. _"I suppose you could say, this would be a present to myself." _Eri was _depending _on Antonio going out with her because she told him she was Kikyo and that it was her birthday! That stupid, arrogant, back-stabbing, user!

"Excuse me, _chica... _but, if you really _are _Kikyo, then what is the first thing you wrote to me?"

Kagome blinked, only then realizing that she had blanked out of the conversation. She smiled and stared at the floor, thanking Antonio for not being as dense as he usually acted.

"...A poem."

Kagome almost burst out laughing at that. _Stupid, stupid, stupid Eri!_

"Actually, I was asking _what _you had written in that particular first letter... and, for your information, it was _not _a poem." Kagome had to clutch at her mouth to keep it shut. She didn't want to laugh! It was getting too good to have it stop now!

"However..." Kagome paused, wanting to hear more, "...even if you _were _the real Kikyo, I wouldn't have accepted."

The world seemed to stop spinning at that moment.

Kagome was clutching her mouth to stop herself from throwing up instead of laughing now. There wasn't an ounce of happiness in her body that could save her from despair right then.

_'Please, **please **don't say what I'm thinking.'_

"Because... I love somebody else."

Kagome couldn't stand it any longer.

Stepping out from behind the locker, Kagome stared, wide and teary-eyed at Antonio and, the traitorous idiot, Eri.

"W- Kags!_?_" Eri exclaimed at her now ex-friend. Antonio whipped around, eyes wide and frightful, and he sucked in a loud breath.

Kagome could've heard a pin drop in the silence, if she actually cared to listen.

"K-kagome-chan..." Antonio muttered, his eyes still wide, but now apologetic. Why would he feel apologetic...?

Kagome subconsciously shook her head. She tightened and loosened her hand, unknowingly dropping the crumpled letter. Glancing down, Antonio gasped again at the name written clearly on the letter and stared longingly at Kagome, who had backed up a few steps.

"Kikyo..." Antonio shook his head and smiled, correcting himself. "...Kagome_-_chan_..._"

"NO!" Kagome shouted, tears pouring from her eyes. She covered her eyes and stumbled backwards, not wanting to hear another word. It would hurt too much.

"Kagome!_?_" she tried to block out the sound of Antonio's confused, panicked voice as she ran from the hallway. Out of the hallway, out of the school doors, off the sidewalk, and-

"KAGOME!"

_...Present time~*_

She was just looking out the window. She couldn't remember a thing. It was natural, the doctor person said, that when you get into an accident that she might get amnesia. _"Just be glad that you're alive, especially after being hit by a school bus. Not many people survive being hit by a bus of any kind." _he had told her while giving her pills for her headaches.

No, she couldn't even remember her name any longer... she refused to believe it was "Kagome". It just didn't sit right with her. Kikyo sounded like a much prettier name, and she would only respond if called that.

Somebody had visited her the other day. She said she was her mama. Her eyes had been really red and puffy, but she was smiling anyways. She said that she was lucky to have survived that, just like the doctor.

"Another accident, ne, Kagome? How would he react?" her mama had burst into tears at that. When Kagome asked what she meant in her usual monotonous voice, with only slight undertones of curiosity, her mother had stopped crying a moment to reply.

"A friend of both you and I... h-he-" a hiccup - "he died helping you, Kagome. He loved you very much. You wouldn't remember him, but he d-did... he was there when you were-" she started crying again, burying her head in her hands. "-first car crash-!" after that, the old nurse lady Kaede had to remove her from the room, but Kagome could feel it. That person that had died had loved her a lot. And, her heart beating faster, she couldn't remember the person's name, but she knew she loved them as well. They couldn't be dead, whoever it was! She loved them too much for her to not know or remember who it was!

Maybe... she should write them a letter, to tell them that she still loved them...?


	10. Year 10

MCD: Wow, none of you got it yet~!

Sorry this chapter came late, I was busy at AnimeNEXT 2012 for a few days.

_**Year 10, age 12 (Seventh Grade):**_

Her memories hadn't returned through the tenth year, which was funny in an odd way. She didn't really care if her memories came back. She liked being Kikyo. Kikyo was a calm, rational part of her that never got flustered, was always polite, and always agreed. She didn't have much of her own personality, but she adapted like a survivor. She didn't use emotion much, but that also meant she wouldn't feel hurt when her mama couldn't make it to visit her in the hospital, and also meant that she would never be sad when nobody came to visit anymore, not be lonely when the nurse Jinenji left the room at the end of the day.

No, Kikyo wasn't much of a people person, but she was a survivor.

To top it all off and confirm her new identity to herself, her eyes turned brown.

When the doctor found out that Kagome's once vibrant blue eyes had turned into a duller chocolate brown, he was stumped. It took him months to figure it out.

"I've figured it out!" he exclaimed one day after a scan. Pointing to an area on a see-through diagram, Dr. Kirkland traced a small area of her brain, right behind her eyes.

"I'm not quite sure how it's possible, but the Kagome's eye color changing is the result of damage the bus did," he nodded to himself, scanning over the two other diagrams on the light table. "Somehow, the signals being sent to her eyes by her brain were damaged, and the chemicals in her skull became slightly scrambled. However, instead of making her go blind as many have, miss Higurashi here got incredibly lucky. Because of a hormonal reaction before the crash, paired with the medicine we'd given here to speed up her recovery along with other possibilities, somewhere along the line, Kagome's eyes reacted to all the factors." noticing the confused look on the full Higurashi family's faces, Arthur put it into layman's terms. He moved around the light table to stand next to Kagome, who was sitting on top of it, staring at the scans.

"In other words, Kagome's eyes could've been terribly damaged, but because of all the underlying factors, they were repaired in an odd, almost supernatural way, and her eye color changing is the result of that. That means that the brown eye color is a good thing for her, physically, because it means that her body is already making a speedy recovery." Dr. Kirkland patted Kagome's head softly, smiling. He leaned back against the light table.

Mrs. Higurashi breathed a sigh of relief.

"How wonderful," she teared about, feeling the relief wash through her so quickly. She'd thought that Kagome was suffering some sort of disease. Kiku, who had been sitting next to her, rubbed her back gently and smiled. Souta hugged his mother around the waist, and grandpa Higurashi slumped in his chair next to Souta. Dr. Kirkland nodded before turning to look at Kagome, who was still looking at the diagrams.

"Deary, why don't you go back to your room? I'll send nurse Lily and Dr. Vash in to give you something to snack on and administer your medicine for the evening. Kiku and Souta can come with you. I have to stay back with your mother and grandfather to speak with them for a moment. Do you think you can find your way back?" Kagome nodded and Dr. Kirkland smiled, ruffling her hair. "That's a good lass. I'll be right there," he told her and Kagome pushed herself off of the light table. Quietly, she grabbed Souta's and Kiku's hands and pulled them out the door, down the hallway a few rooms to her room.

Dr. Kirkland sighed when the remaining Higurashis gave him a concerned look.

"Mrs. Higurashi, Higurashi sir," Arthur nodded to them both before heaving himself up a bit to sit on the light table. He intertwined his hands and stared at them, unable to look the distressed family members in the eye.

"How can I put this..." taking a deep breath, Arthur plunged forward, "...While the newest addition to miss Kagome's eye color is key in her physical recovery, it is making her mental recovery that much harder." glancing up at them, he winced at the shocked looks they were giving him.

"Let me explain. You see, Kagome has created a new name for herself. For some reason, she believes that her name is "Kikyo", and will not react to anything but that name. Even getting her attention by calling her miss Higurashi has become hard to do. I'm not sure where she got the notion of having a different name, why, nor how, but I do know that her new eye color isn't helping. To put it simply, Kagome is developing a split personality disorder." he sighed and refrained from rubbing his eyes at their horrified expressions. Only twenty-three years old and he felt like he was going on a hundred. All this stress was getting to him...

"But, if Kagome won't react to _'Kagome_', only _'Kikyo'_, then how is it a split personality disorder? Why not developing a single new identity?" Mrs. Higurashi questioned.

"Well," he began, "Kagome's eye colors _do _play a part in that. Whenever she acts like her old, normal self, her eyes are _blue. _Whenever she's feeling solemn or gets quiet and thinking, her eyes tend to turn _brown. _Her eyes are acting sort of like mood rings that you can get in , while she doesn't acknowledge the name '_Kagome'_, her body reacts to it. It seems that no matter how convinced her mind is that she's this _'Kikyo'_ girl, her body still knows that she's _'Kagome'_." he concluded, clenching his hands together and staring at them solemnly.

"She's no closer to getting her memories back than I am to winning the lottery and seeing a pig fly. Without her own psychological cooperation, we can't promise any spectacular results." He stopped there. He couldn't bear to see the way Mrs. Higurashi doubled over in silent sobs, her hands cradling her teary face. The elder Higurashi simply stared at the floor, frozen in shock, his hand unmoving on his daughter's back, unable to falsely comfort her. Arthur stood, shuffling the brain scans into a messy pile and shoving them back into their folder. Turning to the Higurashis, he cast the a sympathetic glance.

"I'm sorry I can't do more for you. Kagome's room is down the hall. Call the front desk if you need me." with that he left the room, dreading his job a bit more now.


	11. Year 11

MCD: Getting mixed signals from my readers. Please hang in there! If you've listened to the music, then you know that this "Kikyo" phase will eventually pass, although it'll take a while. Please hang in there!

It took me a billion years to update, I know. I'm sorry ;-;

_**Year 11, Age 13 (Eighth Grade):**_

The eleventh year, her memories still didn't return. Doctor Kirkland said that she may never regain her memories back, which caused her mother much distress.

Kagome hadn't changed much, aside from the odd flickering of eye colors. Still quiet, solemn, and confused; Doctor Kirkland sometimes mistakenly called her Kagome. Why did he do that? Didn't he know that her name was Kikyo?

Kagome closed her eyes as a small headache throbbed in her temple. For some reason, whenever he called her "Kagome", her head would hurt. Sometimes it was worse than a little pain.

One time, Doctor Kirkland had set his clipboard down next to her bed while he left the room for a moment. Curious as to what he thought was so off about her and why she couldn't go home yet, her eyes quickly scanned the paper.

Obvious little things like her still being in rehab, her personal hospital-issued chiropractor Miss Katyusha, the odd case of what exactly was causing her eyes to change color, stuff like that was written on the white paper, but when she looked at the top of the page, her whole body went stiff.

_Higurashi, Kagome (Alias, Kikyo)_

_Prominent affliction: Long-term amnesia_

_Cause of affliction: Blunt-force trauma (was hit by a school bus)_

_Details: Ran off after being confronted by Carriedo, Antonio, wasn't looking where she was going…_

…_confronted by Carriedo, Antonio…_

…_Antonio…_

Suddenly she pulled away, clutching her head, the clipboard clattering to the ground, forgotten. A searing pain racked her mind and down her spine. Something about that name… Antonio… Antonio… _Antonio!_

Clenching her eyes shut and curling into a ball, she whimpered as pain rolled in waves through her throbbing head. A bright smile and green, almost-hazel eyes popped into her mind and she screamed outright. Something wasn't right…! Why was the thought of the person named Antonio causing her so much pain…!_?_

Right before she passed out, the image of a plain envelope with the name "Kikyo" written in cursive popped into her mind, right before a plain-script version, a typed one, and finally, the name "Kagome" being scribbled out before her world went a violent crimson, the name "Kikyo" replacing it, and then everything went black.

When she came to, Doctor Kirkland was hovering above her, dangling something that smelled funny in front of her nose. When he saw that she'd woken up, Doctor Kirkland breathed a sigh of relief and immediately demanded that she be put through a brain scan: for what purpose, she didn't know. But she did know that he had found minor scars in her brain tissue. He'd later then made it practically a law that everyone call her "Kikyo" from that point on, for her own safety, or something weird like that.

On a happier note, she'd had some new visitors recently. Since Doctor Kirkland had determined that her condition had been getting much better, he'd allowed her to see some old classmates that she couldn't even remember, but the sentiment was the same.

Teary-eyed faces and bright smiles were temporarily replaced with shocked expressions when she said she couldn't remember them, but they put on a brave front and made friends with her 'again'.

A few of the people that had come to see her had come in a trio, bearing gifts of different calligraphy pens and "Get Well Soon!" cards. One of them had wavy black hair, one of them had really short brown hair, and the last bore a nervous expression and a yellow headband in her shoulder-length black hair. She gave Kagome a bad feeling, and so she spent the majority of the afternoon conversing with the first two, who seemed nice enough.

Another day, Kikyo was visited by a group of boys. Two of them had bright silvery hair; the one with longer hair and gold eyes she took an immediate liking to, and the scratchy-voiced, red-eyed one she'd been a little wary of at first because of his eyes that reminded her slightly of a demon. Another one was a blue-eyed, wavy-haired blonde with a thick French accent and a freaky laugh. Yet another one had long black hair that was held back in a high ponytail and wore a brown headband (Kouga, his name was. He sure knew how to make an entrance, she would later note).

They had been sobbing all over the place when they saw her, immediately dog-piling her from all sides. Kikyo, confused and having no idea who they were but figuring that they must have been very close in the past, hugged them each back out of sheer politeness. They spent the whole day talking, reminiscing, and cracking inside jokes, a lot of which she didn't get, but then again, she thought that she hadn't been there to witness the cause for most of them.

"Hey, weren't the tomato-lover and his cousins supposed to come here with us?" the long-haired boy Inuyasha questioned at the end of the visit, leaving the rest of the group with confused frowns.

"Ah, zhat ees true, _mon ami,_but zhe two didn't show. Where did our friend go, anyways?" Francis' brow furrowed, but Kouga answered him.

"He got held back at Kag's door, didn't he? Something that weird British doctor said to keep him occupied when we came in," he speculated, and Gilbert nodded fervently, the small yellow bird bouncing on his head.

"_Ja, _that's right! Eyebrows pulled him from the door at the last second, right?" he concluded. The boys nodded to themselves, but Kikyo's head tilted to the side in question.

"That's odd," she murmured, catching the boys' attention, "Doctor Kirkland usually allows all of my guests to visit." she frowned. "I'll have to talk to him later about it and see what the matter was."

As they were being shushed out the door at the end of visiting hours, Inuyasha and Kouga had turned to wave back at Kagome at the same time and ended up scowling at each other, looking as if they were about to get into a fist-fight. Something about the image made something in the back of Kikyo's mind stir, but she ignored it, figuring it was just one of her headaches flaring up.

Later, Nurse Jinenji had come in with a present for her from the missing guest.

_Dear Kagome,_

_I can't see you right now, but I used to know you, and I think you're really nice._

_I want to be your friend again._

There wasn't any name to it, but it put a tingly feeling in her stomach. The words seemed familiar somehow.

It was especially nice to get a few flowers with the poem as well. It showed her how much the person cared, even if they got her name wrong.

Well… Doctor Kirkland's paper _had _said that she was called "Kagome"…it didn't sound like such a bad name now.


	12. Year 12

MCD: Trying to update ASAP, even though it's like, 4 in the morning OTL.

_**Year 12, Age 14 (Ninth Grade):**_

The twelfth year had changed her quite a bit, as well as the world around her.

Miroku and Sango took time from their workdays (Miroku ran a shrine for an old monk and Sango came from a long line of weapons specialists) to see her together and Kagome greeted them pleasantly when they entered with a late present of congratulations, since she'd missed the wedding long ago.

Kouga had reluctantly started dating a girl that had distinctly Irish looks, but she swore she was Japanese (she was rather annoying too, but Kagome never mentioned _that_ trait out loud).

Inuyasha was visiting more often and sometimes brought stuff to show her, since he constantly moved with Sesshoumaru's work. He often explained interesting backstories to swords and legends, and sometimes showed her artifacts (mainly form the feudal era for some reason) that he bought while traveling. Inuyasha had also told her that he planned on becoming a traveling sword smith after highschool, which she thought was the coolest thing ever.

Gilbert had found ("stolen", from some guy that should've been the woman in the relationship, as his friends put it) a girlfriend that he was rather serious about, despite her having a past of being kind of abusive, especially with kitchenware. It had been especially bad when his friends had commented something about women and kitchens. She'd gotten frustrated with them but Gilbert stood up for her, telling them that she could gut them with a kitchen knife in an instant. One person had joked obnoxiously, "Did she learn how to do that in the kitchen?" and had promptly been associated with her favorite cast-iron frying pan.

Francis, of course, flew solo most of the time, but occasionally picked up a few stray sweethearts. In other words, nothing unusual.

Souta became Soccer Team Captain, Kiku got a job working for a manga company (he inked and edited manga for a man that had a brilliant idea about personified countries), and her gramps had an operation done on his knee. Her mother was still as calm, kind, and supportive as ever, although Kagome knew she had to pay some of the hospital bills the insurance didn't cover.

Oh, and she started getting used to being called "Kagome".

It was frustrating at first, having two different names, but she found that it was like therapy. Every time someone called her name, or she signed her name "Kagome" instead of "Kikyo", she got more used to it. It was like stretching a muscle that hadn't been used in a while.

Her eyes had finally stopped switching colors as well, finally settling back into her sapphire-like blue. Doctor Kirkland said that it signaled her near-complete recovery and celebrated with a bunch of stolen snacks from the hospital cafeteria (he kept going on about how he could've been a "no-good thieving pirate" instead of a doctor way back in the "good ol' days").

And, last but certainly not least, the thing that had been prompting her to reacquaint herself with her "Kagome" side… the love letters.

Almost everyday they came, often with different types of paper, or envelopes, and different flowers, but the handwriting always stayed the same.

However, one fact remained stationary, forgive the pun; they were unsigned.

Never did she ever get a letter with a name. It was annoying at times, endearingly shy at best, but it just furthered Kagome's resolve. This person, whoever it was, had obviously loved "Kagome" very much, before Kikyo ever came along. She didn't want to let this person down, not in the slightest, so she always worked on fixing her identity. It was easier to work towards her goal since she had something to work for.

Oftentimes, the letters would seem rather pointless, stating things like how the weather was, what he had done that day, or other menial things.

However, if one looked closer, they could see the love laced in-between the lines.

The comparison of her smile to the sun and stars. A simile or metaphor, expressing how bright her sapphire eyes were, or how the ocean's glimmering surface meant nothing in comparison. Sometimes it was just blunt compliments, but the emotion remained.

She couldn't help but fall more and more in love with the person, whoever it may be.

Sometimes she wrote back to them. Whether a simple greeting in her native language or detailed paragraphs exclaiming her profound gratitude and love, they were all to the same person, despite the fact that she kept almost all of them in a shoe box next to her bed.

She couldn't keep all of them to herself, though. She sent some to her friend and boss, Sesshoumaru, every month, and every month, Sesshoumaru would advertise and publish her works everywhere that he could. He often half-heartedly complained to her about how much fan letters and art came to the publishing house, since they couldn't send it directly to the hospital and rehab. Kagome just giggled at the usually-stern 26-year-old.

"Well, if you could see how much fan mail, supporting you, you got while you're here," he glanced around the room, "you'd be more pissed than happy too." He'd accused her one visit, disgruntled.

Kagome just smiled.

"Well, you wouldn't know. You're always so stoic and grumpy." She smirked. "I mean, except for when you're around Kagura. Speaking of which, how are Kagura and Rin?" he allowed one of his small, rare smiles to poke through.

"Wonderful. Rin's growing up to be a fine young girl, despite always acting so happy-go-lucky, and Kagura's expecting in a few months." Kagome squealed and Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes.

"What is it with women and babies?" he muttered to himself, and Kagome rolled her eyes at him playfully.

"Well, they're more cuddly than _you _are, for one," she burst into giggles once again and Sesshoumaru smiled to himself at the display. She really was healing…

"Enough about me, you little brat," she stuck her tongue out at him at the playful teasing, "How is _your _love life coming along? Don't try to lie to me, the inspiration for those recent love-poems doesn't come from my half-brother. His smile is not, as you put it in your latest publication, _'Gorgeously bright, shrouded in mystery, like the sun and stars for everything it's worth to me, casting upon the vibrant Earth to make the same color as your eyes, I wish your love to shine upon me.' _Last time I checked, Inuyasha's smile is not so wonderful, nor are his eyes as green as the vibrant Earth." He smirked at the shade of red her face turned.

"N-none of your business! Jerk!" she cried out, tossing her pillow at him. It didn't work well, since he was sitting so close, at the foot of her bed. He simply caught the fluffy thing and tossed it back at her. It smacked her square in the face. She whined indignantly and he rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wondered if they were actually siblings instead of business partners.

"As your withstanding publisher and closest confidante, it is entirely my business. You should know that you can't keep secrets from this Sesshoumaru." She glared at him from over the top of the pillow. She clutched the white-sheathed fluffy thing tightly to her, trying to bury herself in it.

"I…I…" pouting suddenly, she hopped up from her spot on the bed and kneeled down to the lowest drawer of the bed stand, puling two shoeboxes out. Placing them both on the bed with the utmost care, she pushed the blue box toward him first.

"…I'm…I'm…_receiving _love letters… that's where my inspiration comes from, you big jerkface…" she muttered shyly, pushing the pink box toward him as well.

Blinking, he opened the blue box- it was filled to the brim with the letters received from the unknown source. A few of them popped out because they'd been slightly crammed into the box. Raising an interested eyebrow, he scanned over a few of them. He grunted in approval before opening the lid to the pink box, finding all of Kagome's love letters back to the person.

He took a few minutes of silence to scan through a lot of both boxes' love letters before staring up at the fidgeting girl, still clutching the pillow to her, sitting at the opposite end of the bed.

"…This has great potential to be a full-fledged story," he murmured, his stunning golden eyes returned to the papers, seeing the originals sent and the replies. "Not as in just posting these and then the replies on the next page. This would make a wonderful love story. Especially if you took the love letters you supposedly sent years ago to begin with. Using them as references, we could re-create your entire love life, you realize?" he looked back up from the papers to see the stunned face of his friend.

"Th-that's…" she looked like Sesshoumaru had just descended from Heaven to declare that he would cast a magic spell and bring every single memory back to her, light shining upon him angelically. But, as soon as it was there, it was gone. She buried her face back into the pillow.

"That's impossible…" she muttered dejectedly, muffled, "…I have no idea what I used to write, besides the stuff that you published. What if I didn't make copies of the love letters I sent this person? What if he just tossed them all away after he finished reading them? Besides, how would we even find this person to get the letters from!_?_" she groaned at the impossible-ness of it all, flopping onto her side and smothering her face in her pillow.

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. Teenage girls and their romantic angst…

"Leave it to me, baka." He nodded more to himself and was out of the room in an instant, more determined than ever.

…Of course, this was all for the profit. The one and only Sesshoumaru Taisho would _never _show emotion for a silly teenage girl because he was, dare we say, _concerned _for her and her love life, not to mention her future and past… of course not. Silly, silly thoughts. Come on, people. This is the Ice King Sesshoumaru we're talking about.


	13. Year 13

**MCD: WHAT THE FRUK. WHY HAVE I NOT UPDATED SOONER. I DON'T KNOW. FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME. LIKE I'M DOING TO YOU GAIZ RIGHT NOW. ;u;**

_**Year 13, Age 15 (Tenth Grade):**_

The thirteenth year was very hard on Kagome mentally.

The letters had all but stopped, as the sender had told her would happen. But, along with that, she could feel it.

Her love was dying.

_Five months before~*_

Kagome's hands trembled. Her jaw clenched, her eyes leaked tears, and she curled herself into a ball.

"Kagome, please tell me what's wrong, love. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Arthur insisted softly, sitting beside Kagome on her bed. She shook her head softly, her face still buried in her knees. Her arms curled tighter around her legs, and Arthur's heart tightened when he heard a small cry. Arthur sighed, patting her shoulder before standing and leaving the room.

A few hours later, an angry, stressed, visibly worried Sesshoumaru burst into the room, followed close by the poor, babbling nurse from Lichtenstein.

"Silence, woman!" he snapped, his more protective instincts surfacing over the young teenager he had come to think of as family. Lily gulped, backing away from Kagome and out of the room. No one wanted to mess with an angry Sesshoumaru.

Sighing and kicking the door shut, Sesshoumaru turned on his heel and quietly approached his not-sibling.

Sitting at the end of her bed, and sacrificing his gray suit jacket to the mercy of the floor, he did something rather un-Sesshoumaru-like, and sat, criss-cross-applesauce at the foot of Kagome's bed. Reaching out to touch Kagome's arm lightly, he felt completely out of his comfort zone. But he would bear it if it meant Kagome would finally stop her moping.

"Kagome. Tell this Sesshoumaru what is wrong, or else I will find out what made you cry and make it _very _sorry it ever existed," growled out the threat, relaxing a little bit when Kagome popped her head over her knees to stare at him, although the redness in her eyes set him on edge.

Grasping the side of her face in his hand lightly, he brushed his thumb over the tear stains on her cheek.

"Who did this to you?" he muttered quietly, vowing revenge. She shook her head side to side, a no, and slipped off the side of the bed. Her feet hit the cold floor with barely a sound, muffled by the pitter-patter of slow rain on the gray, dull window.

"Not who..." she bent down, pulling out a single letter from within the nightstand. Barely even turning, yet placing it ever so gently on the stretch of bed in front of Sesshoumaru, her bangs covered her eyes.

"..._what._"

Blinking in confusion, Sesshoumaru lifted the letter to his face, gently unfolding it, because it seemed to hold some sort of value to Kagome.

_Dear Kagome-chan,_

_It kills me to say this. I can only hope that you'll forgive me someday._

_I'm afraid that I won't be able to write letters to you any longer._

Suddenly everything clicked for Sesshoumaru.

_You see... I'm moving to Spain. I understand the language fluently and a college is asking for me there. I wanted to refuse, but you see..._

_It's for you._

_I'm supposedly one of the greatest medical students the school has ever heard of, and they personally invited me on a tour with my family._

_While my family was won over instantly, I was not. I told them that my letters and you were the thing keeping me in this country... and they weren't amused._

_They have forbidden contact with you until I complete my studies. They've talked to the doctors about blocking them... so this will be my last letter._

_What they didn't know is that these letters to you are what keeps me in the medical business... I want to be the one who helps you regain your memories._

_Hopefully, your memories will lead you to me again..._

_I love you and I'll miss you._

_Please stay strong._

_I'll be there one day, I promise._

_With lots of love,_

_Your Secret Admirer._

Looking up from the letter, his softened gaze landed upon the shaking form of Kagome.

"I... I'm afraid he'll never talk to me again, Sessh... I don't know what I would do..."

Frowning, Sesshoumaru discarded the letter atop the sheets and leaned down, tipping Kagome's face up by the chin.

"You would _stay strong, _like he's asked you to. Just because he'll be gone for a little while doesn't mean he'll be gone forever. Just like your memories, not permanently erased," he told her, brushing her raven bangs from her beautiful, sparkling blue eyes.

Grabbing the letter, he placed it in her hand and folded her fingers over it carefully, so as not to wrinkle it.

"This is his promise to you. Keep it, and he shall keep his."

Kagome smiled softly, leaning into Sesshoumaru's chest while happy tears trickled down her cheeks.

_...present time~*_

Sighing, Kagome cuddled the toy bear that she had affectionately named "適Kumajiiro" after her friend Alfred's brother's pet. It was a little connection that made her smiled almost every time... but seemingly nothing could snap her out of this gloom.

Letters littered the room, all over the tile floor, but not too many. She didn't want to move and accidentally crumple one.

She had taken out her favorite ones, trying to fuel the dying love in her heart. She knew that she still loved whoever it was, but a new feeling was taking over her... making her forget how to feel...

Loneliness.

She had never really been alone in her life. She had a nice family to keep her busy, a great social life even in rehab since the other patients were so nice, lots of friends that were random hospital staff, tons of adoring fans, and Sesshoumaru would visit her whenever she asked...

But she couldn't help but feel that something was _missing._

Love, life, friends, family, laughter... what else could she want?

But she just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something missing from the equation. Like... she had mistaken something, hadn't carried the 3... and now everything had proven itself wrong.

_But she just didn't know what. _

Aside from her not knowing who had sent her the love letters, of course.

Sighing, she sat at the foot of her bed, on the floor, looking over her favorite letter one more time...

_Dead roses aren't red_

_And without you I'm blue_

_I swear that one day_

_I'll return back to you..._

_The roses will flourish_

_And together we'll shine_

_and I swear that one day_

_I'll call you mine..._


	14. Year 14

**MCD: Almost finished, guys! One more chapter to go before everything is revealed!**

_**Year 14, Age 16 (Eleventh Grade):**_

The fourteenth year was the hardest of them all.

Not one single letter.

_Not one._

The letters she had from her Secret Admirer had become so crumpled, delicate and worn from her reading them and rereading them and rereading them again...

Kagome had pleaded to be released from rehab, but the doctors (not Arthur and her friends from the hospital, but the ones who worked at the rehab unit) had refused her time and time again, under the claim that she was still suffering from memory loss and therefore should be kept in rehab until she regained them... which possibly would be never... and after she found out that her needs were no longer covered by the insurance company, that her mother had to pay out of pocket... she knew that they were just sucking her family's money dry...

Sesshoumaru had gone away on a long business trip to a foreign country, somewhere across the ocean, and wouldn't be back for a while...

Inuyasha had dropped out of high school in favor of learning from a 杜'master sword smith' named Totosai...

_Inuyasha... _

Kagome shivered.

_Two months before~*_

"Kagome, you _know _that the bastard's never gonna come back! He's used the medical school shit as an excuse to ignore you!" Inuyasha yelled at her, causing her to flinch back.

"_I don't care!" _she screeched, regaining her confidence. Sitting to her knees and throwing her alarm clock violently at Inuyasha, she screamed again, a few silvery tears cascading down her cheeks.

"I don't care! I don't care..." she hiccuped, grabbing her pillow to throw at him. "I的f he says he'll come back then I trust him! Gods, why can't you just be supportive for once!_?_ You know that I'm suffering without those letters!" she cried, hugging the pillow instead of throwing it. "T典hose little letters kept me _alive _a few years back..." This only seemed to make Inuyasha angrier.

"Kagome, those dumb little letters didn't keep you alive! The people that you _know _and _love _did!" he emphasized to two words. Sighing, he rubbed his temples, then moved and sat on the bed. Kagome tried to scoot back, but he captured on of her soft hands in his calloused ones.

"Kagome, listen to me..." he looked at her sadly, slouching, 的"I love you. I love you, and I can see that this obsession with whoever your 'Secret Admirer' is... it's not healthy!" he insisted gently, but Kagome was too shocked by his sudden confession to really take notice. His hands tightened around hers, and he leaned forward, trying to convince her with his honest stare.

"Please, Kagome... just give it up. I know that you're hurting- hell, I probably know the best. But even _you _said that you were confused about loving this guy. Like there's something missing... _I _can show you what you're missing! The constant love, companionship... actually _physically _being there for you..." he rubbed soft circles on the top of her hand. Kagome wasn't sure what to do when he leaned in and hugged her. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Inuyasha never, _ever, __**ever **_showed this softer, kinder, tender side of him. Not even once. He was the tsundere-iest tsundere of them all, beating out even their begrudging friend Lovino by miles.

But...

Pushing away from his embrace gently, Kagome looked him dead straight in the eyes, but with the softest, most heartbroken depth to the dark blue. It would put sad puppies to shame.

"Inuyasha... I... I don't love you back... not that way," she said gently, barely daring to breathe. 添"You're the best friend that I've ever had... and, while I still am confused... I know that my heart belongs to him."

Inuyasha's expression became unreadable for a few moments until he let go of her hands, shoving them back to her.

Scowling, he stood from the bed, straightened his shirt and walked to the door.

"I see how it is. Fine," he snapped, turning to her before he closed the door completely, "_fine. _Love somebody that you never knew! I'll always lose to him, whether it was back then or now, I can never win in a fight against the stupid bastard!" he snapped, slamming the door so hard that a picture frame fell from the wall and behind her dresser.

Flinching, Kagome was left sitting in sorrow and confusion...

...Inuyasha knew who her Secret Admirer was this whole time?

_...present time~*_

Kagome had planned to ask him about it when he came back to visit her after he cooled down, but he never did. She learned from Sesshoumaru that he had packed his bags and followed Totosai out of town the next day.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Not only knowing that she had come _this close _to figuring out who had sent her letters, but knowing that she had been able to do nothing but apologize for hurting a friend so devastatingly. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to talk to him again...or if he would ever give her the chance to.

Curling up once more, she ignored the sound of rain pounding on the windows and floated into a fitful sleep.

Out of every letter littering the floor, out of every love letter she's sent and received, covering every square inch and even passing the bottom of the bed frame, one letter from months, probably even years before -seeing as she hadn't bothered to check-, was crumpled in her hand.

_I still love you._

_Your Secret Admirer._


	15. Year 15

**MCD: Enjoy~**

_**Age 17 (Twelfth Grade)**_

Sighing, Kagome stepped into her apartment, toeing off her shoes and tossing her school bag onto the stairs. Walking into her living room, she shuffled past the stacks of paper, empty tea mugs and crumpled up wads of paper.

After Sesshoumaru had come back from his business trip and found out that the rehab place had been keeping her only for her money, he had promptly sued them and showed her an apartment. He gave her a raise so that she'd be able to afford it - and many other things – and had gotten her settled in.

Of course, she sent some money to her family every month, and talked to them regularly. She hadn't wanted to go back and cost her mother more money than she already had, and Sesshoumaru had said that he would find her a place anyways... she shrugged the thought, remembering that she should talk to Kiku soon as well, seeing as he was going on a trip to Switzerland with his boss Himaruya in a week.

After settling in to her new life, she had meticulously organized the love letters into piles by person, then year, and month. After realizing that they would do no good to her in bins in her closet, she moved a few of them to her coffee table. They had migrated from there to the right side of the steps in the hallway. After realizing tat this was not safe, she eventually managed to move them to the living room...

Yeah. She didn't invite guests over for a while.

Frowning slightly, she shuffled through the mess and pushed into her kitchen.

Picking up a piece of mail from the day before that she had been too tired to read (from rushing to finish before one of Sesshoumaru's deadlines), she opened it up.

_Dear Kagome, _

_We realized that, after your accident quite a few years ago, we had been too concerned to remember something rather important to your earlier years of education... and, since you were in the hospital and rehab all that time being home-schooled, you didn't get the same chance as we did to get these things... so, here you go! Make up a holiday, 'cos this is your present~! ;)_

_-With love, from_

_Roma "Rome" Vargas,_

_Mrs. Hassan,_

_Mr. Wang,_

_Mr. Beilschmidt,_

_and everyone else I forgot to mention~_

Kagome giggled at the letter. Mr. Rome from way back in elementary school must have written it, as was obvious by the somewhat carefree nature and swirling type. He had been one of the teachers to offer her "hospital schooling" over video chats and such things while she had been out of school, until she completed her elementary years.

Finally casting her eyes upon the thing cardboard box beneath it, curiosity got the better of her.

Setting the letter down next to the box, she grabbed a pair of scissors from the countertop and sliced open the packaging tape.

Shredding the top layer of wrapping paper, Kagome smiled fondly at the bright, golden title of the book, even though it was a bit worn, the white cover stained in a few places. A second note was placed on top of it.

_Kagome~_

_Heya! Sorry this edition's kinda worn out...it used to be Romano's... but he sorta threw it at people when they called him cute when he was younger... ;u;_

_I hope you like it!_

_~Roma Vargas~_

Kagome laughed. She remembered Romano, although not in his younger years, she knew him well to this day. It was no surprise to her that the tsundere boy would do such a thing.

Flipping it open, Kagome grinned at all the faces of the people she knew, and all the ones she didn't as well. Flipping to the back section, she recognized almost all of the people, or the names of them at least. She giggled at the picture of Francis- his hair was _much _shorter now, even though it was long, by any standards!

She stopped to stare at each page, smiling in glee at all the faces. Flipping the page again, she had made it to "Mr. China's" page, otherwise known as Yao Wang. Kagome giggled at the face he made, screwed up cutely and pouting at the camera. Scanning the page, she froze.

Staring back at her with the biggest, most cheerful smile...

Dark brown hair, green eyes, tan skin, obviously Hispanic background...

She didn't hear the door burst open in the background.

"_Kagome, I have good news-"_

She felt woozy for some reason. Getting dizzier and dizzier, she collapsed to her knees, the book shaking in her trembling hands.

"_Kagome?" _foot steps... _"Kagome? Kagome! Is everything alright?"_

She couldn't feel a presence next to her as she fell sideways, barely being caught before her head hit the tile.

"_Kagome! KAGOME! Can you hear me? Kag..."_

"_...gome..."_

"_...-me..."_

Sesshoumaru's hackles rose when he realized that she'd blacked out. Cradling her to his person as though she would break at any moment, he looked at the book that had fallen to the floor. Scanning over it, he felt himself stiffen.

_Antonio Fernandez Carriedo_

…

A little while later when Kagome woke up, she realized that she woke up crying and on the couch. She stood, trying to move through the mess of papers on the floor- had her love letters been this messy before?

And then everything hit her again.

Collapsing to her knees, her eyes going wide, she remembered everything. All the little things that had happened before she got into the accident... it all came back to her, crushing her, washing over her in painfully, sorrowfully happy nostalgia.

Sesshoumaru rushed into the room when he heard her crying once more, and supported her while she cried on his shoulder.

"_It all makes sense..." _she whispered to him when she calmed, leaning back and staring at him, love shining brightly in her eyes. "It was Antonio the whole time... what my mother said... what Inuyasha told me...!"

Laughing jovially at the slightly confused expression on Sesshoumaru's face, she stood and twirled around, letters kicking up and fluttering around her.

"Antonio was the one sending me the letters! Antonio loved me all along..." she sighed, but floated back down from her momentary high to hug Sesshoumaru.

"But... in the first car accident I was in..." She hiccuped, and Sesshoumaru found himself preparing for another onslaught of unexpected tears...

_"Another accident, ne, Kagome? How would he react?"_

_"A friend of both you and I... h-he-he died helping you, Kagome. He loved you very much. You wouldn't remember him, but he d-did... he was there when you were-" she started crying again, burying her head in her hands. "-first car crash-!"_

"...It was my father who died fifteen years ago in that car crash... he loved me, and he would have been devastated to know that I had gotten into another accident...he was the one who inspired me to write the letters all along... I remember now! I laid a letter on his grave the year before I met Antonio... Momma didn't want to say anything because sh-she knew it would hurt...!"

Sesshoumaru could only rub her back softly to console her as she even more tears on his shirt.

_...A few months later~*_

Antonio sat in his favorite cafe in Spain, his right leg bouncing up and down. He couldn't be more excited.

Well, it scared him that the scary blonde man named Sesshoumaru had tracked him down that one day a few months ago, but the message he brought had cause Antonio to go out all night, celebrating.

"_Kagome is alive and well. She's been reading your letters over and over again. She's out of the hospital. She loves you." _Antonio sighed dreamily...

"_But if you hurt her, mark my words- **I** **will find you. And I will kill you."**_

He shivered a little, but his happy high flew straight back to his head.

Later in the month when Sesshoumaru had tracked him down, he said that he'd be able to meet Kagome soon.

Now, it was only a few days until he was out of his extra medical college courses, having only taken the 2-year course instead of the 4-year like his parents wanted him to. Grimacing a little at the thought of them, he shrugged off his unhappy mood by guessing what Kagome looked like these days. What she looked like grown up, how she was doing, what job did she have, what would she be wearing when he saw her once more, etc...~

He had been pretty depressed back when that Doctor Kirkland fellow had stooped him at the Kagome's door that first day the others had been allowed to visit.

_"She has showed a negative reaction mentally to the mention of you, Antonio. I'm terribly apologetic to say this, but you're the one that caused her an immense amount of pain... and although the amnesia has made her conscience forget you, subconsciously, she remembers you... and it ends up physically hurting her. No matter it be your picture or your name, I'm afraid I'll have to cut off all contact between you two."_

_A younger Antonio's shoulders slumped, his eyes pricked with tears and the flowers he'd been holding fell from his hand. _

_"B-but..."_

_"I know that you two were awfully close before the accident, but unfortunately, that same relationship cannot be maintained in her condition."_

_Antonio stared at the floor for a few moments. He had to communicate with Kagome somehow... he **had** to!_

_Smile widening in determination, he grabbed the clipboard from the startled Doctor Kirkland's hand and the pen from his pocket, turned away, and quickly scribbled a note on a blank piece of paper. When he deemed it satisfactory, he nodded to himself, then shoved the two items back in the confused Kirkland's hands._

_"Kagome used to contact me through Secret-Admirer-type letters, so I'll do the same thing! If I don't sign it or include my picture, then she won't know, but I can still tell her stuff!" Antonio grinned, eyes shining in pride at the idea, his face tinting a slight pink as well. Doctor Kirkland blinked, but eventually smiled, ruffling Antonio's hair._

_"A genius idea, lad. I'll make sure **this**," he held up the note between his fingers and grabbed the flowers off of the floor, "and **these **get to her."_

Shaking his head, he sighed as he snapped from his memories. That day had been so ironically happy...

_'Nevermind that. Today is about you and your friends. You're going with Gilbert and Francis on a trolling- er, shopping trip so that you'll have nice stuff to wear when you see Kagome-chan again... even though she probably won't remember who you are... and even if she does she'll probably **hate you **for giving her amnesia and putting her through years of therapy...' _Antonio shook his head violently, groaning. Stupid, _stupid _pessimistic brain... why now, of all times, can you not be cheery...

Sighing and taking a large sip of his coffee, he didn't register the sound of the bell to the door of the cafe ringing, wasn't bothered by the sound of foot steps getting closer, and only blinked at the sound of the chair scraping on the floor across from him. He tried to remember how much it would cost to get a plane flight to Kagome's home like Sesshoumaru had told him, but the sound of a throat clearing across from him brought him back to the real world. He lowered the cup from his green-eyed gaze...

The cup crashed to the floor, spilling its diminished contents everywhere, and the sound of choking and coughing, a surprised gasp, and a chair screeching across the floor filled the tiny corner-cafe.

Slamming his hands down on the table to steady himself, Antonio stared, bug-eyed, at the person sitting in the chair across from him. He didn't dare blink at the possibility that the raven-haired, blue-eyed woman would disappear.

"...Kagome?" he asked tentatively, his eyes never leaving her face. Her solemn expression melted into a soft smile, her cheeks flushing pink.

"Hello, Antonio. It seems that you remember me... thanks, even when I didn't remember you at first." She smiled, and Antonio felt like he would explode. Which he sort of did.

Antonio practically pounced on the blue-eyed girl, jumping over the table and capturing her in his over-excited embrace.

After they had been kicked out of the cafe for the disruption, Antonio was falling all over himself, babbling on about how he had loved her all the years, how he had missed her, and had decided to go into medicine and health so he could find a cure for her amnesia. Laughing, having Antonio melt at the delicate sound, she kissed him, leaving him absolutely stunned for a moment. His face turned a shade of red that would put his beloved tomatoes to shame.

"Silly. I didn't need the medicine after all these years, it turns out..." she smiled, gently clasping her hands on his soft jawline, "...all I needed was you." She pulled herself up for another kiss, and was swept into his embrace. Antonio picked her up and spun her around as they kissed, after finally, finally, _finally _seeing his love again...

"You have _no _idea how long I've waited to do that," he moaned when they parted for breath, after setting her down. Smiling slyly, and maybe even a bit sheepishly, Kagome pecked his lips again.

"Actually, I think I might... Oh, and thanks for sticking for 15 years, you clingy boy," laughing, he pulled her into another passionate kiss, unmindful of Gilbert cheering him on from a foot away and Francis laughing like a creep.

_Just like old times,_ _Just like the good 'ol' days,_

_I took you in my arms and asked you to stay,_

_You said "Yes" after all these years,_

_We went out and partied with friends, fun and beer._

_And even if one day, you lost your memories,_

_I'll be there to guide you back into my arms._

_So remember me now, take in the image slow,_

_Even if you can't feel the love, don't ask me to go!_

_Know that I'll be here, with friends, fun and beer,_

_Waiting diligently for the real you to return..._

_A clingy boy sticking for fifteen full years..._

___Just like old times,_ _Just like the good 'ol' days._

___And with you, forever, I'll always stay._

___Poem "Just like the good ol' days" by Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and Kagome Higurashi_

___© Taisho Publishing House, 2012_

___**...Year 15**  
_

~_fin_

**MCD: Thanks for reading! Maybe gonna add an epilogue. Keep an eye out for it just in case~!**


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